Finding the Good in a Bad Situation

2017 has not gotten off on a good foot for me.

I have had mega issues with my car that I have just bought, finances, school and more.  Ever since my car broke down Christmas Eve, I feel that I haven’t been able to catch a break. One thing after another led me to feel that I am undoubtedly the unluckiest person when it comes to cars. I just couldn’t be anymore distressed and down in the dumps. Optimism had become difficult after a car I purchased three months ago after my old car broke down, had now already had to have the battery, fuel pump and engine (YIKES) replaced.

Then after feeling bad for myself, I looked around and realized  that during this for lack of better words, shitty few weeks, that I had an amazing support system.

During this time, so many of my friends and family were so understanding and helpful. As cheesy as it sounds, I realized that even in the crappiest moments of life, there are people who bring light, hope and positivity to any bad situation. These friends and family are the reason that I am able to thrive at my best, and bounce back from my worst.

So in light of me finally getting my life together after four weeks of craziness, here are just a few of the people who helped get me through the last few weeks and the specific qualities that I valued in each of them during this time.

ENCOURAGEMENT

For those of you who don’t know Ellen, you don’t know that she is the most humble, down to earth person that I have ever met. She is everything anyone could ever want in a friend-with seriously none of the bad qualities. In this time of need-and anymore she provided Encouragement. She encouraged me to look for the best options, suggested if I had gotten through everything else in my life, that this was just another bump. She suggested that in previous financial binds that I had truly always figured it out, so why would it be any different this time?

A LISTENER 

Lauren has always been a role model to me and someone who has always had my back no matter what. In the past few weeks I have truly valued her ability to listen. She is always someone that I can call to vent, ask for advice and have someone to just listen. I think sometimes we are so quick to ignore what people are saying by beginning to formulate our own responses in our head, but Lauren is the most genuine listener I have ever met. She really takes in what you are saying, need help with etc, and lets it sink in before just jumping to conclusions or advice. Sometimes all you need is someone to truly listen in order to feel better.

BEING LOYAL

Finding someone who truly always is there for you whether you need them or not is not an easy task. Mia is someone who will be there for you day or night. In the last few weeks, after telling her everything that was going on with my car while running around Perkins on a Sunday morning, she was quick to ask if I needed anything. & I did-a ride. She drove me to the nearest O’Reilly’s to buy a stupid car battery. She then drove me home which is in the complete opposite direction of her house. When I said all I really needed was a girls night to make me feel better, & there she was (this also could have been because I bribed her with dinner lol (; ). When I asked if she could have Omar find out how much things should cost, she replied as soon as he responded. Having someone who has got your back no matter what is truly a great feeling.

COMPASSIONATE

Maita Lou is ultimately the sweetest person on this planet. During the last few weeks I have really noticed the amount of compassion she has for her friends. Over break, a time that is equally as crazy for everyone, she wanted to make time to see me despite being away from school. She wanted to celebrate my belated birthday and let me vent about all the madness happening with my car. When we weren’t able to meet up because of these circumstances, she eagerly reassured me that despite being unable to meet that day, that we would still make time to make it up. Her compassion then and always, makes me feel genuinely valued. Every time I ask her a question, she responds whole heartedly. She is honest, but truly can see the good in everyone and everything. Her warm personality shows her sincere dedication to each one of her friendships. During the last few weeks, her compassion has been a light of positivity.

ANALYTICAL 

Maddy has been a constant in my life for a long time, bringing so much light and love to my life, but the one thing I value in our friendship is our ability (sometimes excessive ability) to analyze every situation. Maddy is someone who looks for every single possibility and outcome before making a decision. She values planning, and then executing that plan- a similarity that we share and bond over. Sometimes when you are going through a tough time, it is really hard to analyze the situation correctly because you are so caught up in it. During this time, Mads brought an outside perspective. She brought up every possibility that could be a possible solution to my problem. In doing so, she allowed me to talk through it and decide what the best decision would be, and how I could get to where I needed to be.

REALISTIC

Even outside of this situation, one thing that I love about Laura is that she is very realistic and logical. She knows when something isn’t going to work, when you are overreacting, being dumb etc, and is not afraid to tell you. While it is important for friends to demonstrate compassion and sympathy (which she also does), it is equally as important for a friend to be realistic and honest in certain situations. We both are very good at not sugar-coating things, and are very bad at pretending. In this situation, Laura could have easily been pitiful and sympathetic but was the one who stepped up and told me to be realistic. Did I need to be complaining as much as I was? No. Did I need to be as pitiful as I was being? No. I didn’t. Laura is the one who really pushed me to get my stuff together and realize that of course I would figure it out, because that’s what I (we all) do- we figure it out. She realized that the situation sucked, but challenged me to then make it better. Her motivation, drive and realistic sense of the world really push me to get out of the dumps and back on my feet.

 THE PROVIDERS

Special shout-out to my parents for always providing in a time of need. Even though we don’t have it all, we have enough to make it. Without their help I would have been stranded at my apartment for the last few weeks. Mom, thanks for letting me borrow a vehicle. Dad, thanks for helping me push my car, answering any vehicle questions and talking with countless different people about things that I have no idea about (CARS AHH). Also you guys stink because I didn’t have a photo that isn’t from 5 years ago to put here.

Additional shout out to Mama Sung who helped me find someone who would fix my car for MUCH cheaper than the auto repair shop. You seriously saved me thousands, so thank you for as you say, “sending rays of sunshine my way!” and  ALSO for raising your amazing daughter who I am lucky enough to call a best friend.

A ROCK

Jack is a straight up do it all.

He encompasses all of the traits above and more everyday, but during the past few weeks has truly been my rock. I can’t even begin to explain all of the things he does on a daily basis, but during the past few weeks has made my life so much easier. It’s actually kind of ridiculous that I was even complaining in the first place, because he has been the one that has been doing a majority of the “fixing” in my, or as he calls it “our” situation. He has called tows (not once, not twice, but three times), been in constant contact with dealerships, car repair shops, family friends and more. He has constantly been staying up until the wee hours of the night researching car parts, possible issues and solutions. He found someone to fix my fuel pump, helped them do so, found the part online, etc and etc. In addition, his sympathy, and constant support in the past few weeks really held me together. The list honestly goes on. His ability to take charge and fix any issue that has come our way, without me even having to ask is something I am truly grateful for. His phrase, “we’ll figure it out” is something I have grown to trust one hundred and ten percent. I seriously have it so easy because of all that he has done and continues to do.

While this list is limited to just a few people, I find value in ALL of my friendships. These qualities have just stood out to me greatly in the past few weeks. It really feels good to realize that even in the worst situations, you always have a support system. It is so reassuring to see that really when the “worst” happens, that there is so much good that outweighs whatever the situation is. I am SO lucky to have such amazing people in my life who help out not only in times of need, but whenever I need. From this experience, I have learned to see the best in the bad situations, that the worst really isn’t the worst, and that no matter what, I have amazing people in my life who will continue to support, encourage, and build me up. I have realized just how special my friendships are, and how much I need to replicate the same values that I appreciate to my friendships.

NOW that the seemingly worst has happened all within the first weeks of the year, here’s to a GREAT rest of 2017. Here’s to seeing the best of bad situations, valuing good friendships, and kicking 2017 in the butt!

-Taylor